Hello fellow readers!

At the beginning of the year, I vowed that one of my resolutions for 2019 was to lose 25+ lbs, and here and there I’ve mentioned about eating healthier and working out, etc. And I realized that through this whole process I’ve been really vague about where I am currently sitting health/weight wise.

When Did My Weight Loss Start?

I started becoming more aware of my weight and how unhealthy I’d become at the beginning of last year when I weighed in at 211 lbs. When I had stepped on to that scale, it wasn’t to even weigh myself, I was just checking to see if the batteries still worked on my scale. Seeing that number, the heaviest that I’ve ever been, I became so depressed. For that first month, I was obsessed with food. How many calories was I eating? I couldn’t eat three hours before bed. Oh no, I need to run five miles to burn more calories because I was hangry. At the end of the month I stepped back on the scale only to find that I had gained another three pounds.

What was I doing wrong? I could have sworn I was eating the “right” foods and I wasn’t eating as much and I was working out and drinking so much water I had to pee twice an hour. For the next couple of months it was a back and forth struggle, going from eating super healthy and working out to feeling like I wasn’t making progress and just eating whatever I wanted.

Needless to say, I didn’t see much progress.

Going In To 2019

Well, when I vowed to myself that I would do it right this year, I again weighed myself. I was sitting at 204 lbs. Better than when I had first started this whole journey, but nowhere near where I wanted to be.

Today I weigh in at 194.3 lbs. Ecstatic that I am finally under that two hundred mark, I feel like I can see why I’m finally making some progress.

In the last few months, I’ve gone through my phases of eating super healthy to falling off for a day or two. Cheating on my diet with a trip to Wendy’s, and of course I break down at least once a week for a Red Bull. The difference between me “falling off the wagon” now vs last year, I don’t take these cheat meals/days to heart. It’s okay to treat myself every now and then so long as I’m not making a habit.

They’re Not Me

The biggest thing for me, now vs. then, is that I’m not trying to adhere myself to someone else’s diet, someone else’s crazy intense workout schedule. Being a two hundred pound woman with a crazy work life, and a demanding family, is not the same as a YouTuber whose entire life revolves around fitness and being healthy and doing an insane amount of push-ups. Spending hundreds of dollars for workout gear and online sessions wasn’t going to help me. I’m not a “fit” person, nor am I a “clean” eater. Conforming to someone else’s plan wasn’t going to help me (unless that person is a licensed nutritionist or doctor).

So while my progress may seem small or insignificant, to me it’s something more. It’s showing me that I can do this. I can be a healthier version of myself. But I need to do it at my pace how I’m comfortable doing it.